We all have it, we all do it and we all know it. Its the I CANT voice inside our heads that stop us from taking action and doing the very things that scare us but will actually help us the most!
I to have this voice. I share this information with you because it is not one of my better habits and I am committing to the effort of not just overcoming this voice, but destroying it outright.
I have come to realize this voice is not that I cant … its that I really dont want to. The truth is taking ACTION is kinda hard and when the going gets tough the victim mentality loves to appear. I hear this voice …often, it is my natural state of being because I have not yet trained myself to stop being a cry baby when something seems difficult to do or achieve. The I cant voice appears …all the time and my ego is used to it as a fall back to get away with not having to change anything about myself. Yet, I know … that through suffering comes the light at the end of tunnel – whether I succeed or not.
Victim mentality is part of our culture so much so that we don’t even realize when we have it.Thatès why lawyers are always busy!
Being a victim also happens when we participate in lack thinking, actions, or speech. We create for ourselves a paradigm of weakness.
You may hear words and phrases such as:
“Yes, but if only I had the time…”
“I can’t do it because I am not…enough”
“I should…but its to hard for someone like me”
“If only I {insert word here, examples: had more money, had more time, were older/ younger/ thinner/ stronger/ healthier, etc…}
Or the more obvious “I could do “x,” if only YOU…”
Any self-defeating words we use or allow others to use in regards to us are examples of victim language. Sometimes it is obvious and easy to spot. Other times, we slip into victim without realizing we have gone there.
Sometimes we need someone to point it out to us. Of course, there are those clear cut times when we are or feel attacked and discuss the situation with a trusted friend for the purposes of clearing the air, gaining insight, or possibly finding solutions.
BREAKING FREE FROM VICTIM MENTALITY
Seeking help from a coach in difficult situations is good. Seeking guidance during new challenges and obstacles is often necessary.
The only way to overcome this victim disease is to be mindful of your self talk that holds you back and ask yourself why you are constantly saying No to yourself when its feels so much lighter and better to say YES! The more energy you give out the more energy you will feel and have to give to yourself and others. Speak to yourself from a position of strength and positivity, and of solutions. This is the only way to win your inner battle thus win at your life!
